I have arrived
Actress, visionary, queen of drama, witch of wit—of course, you’re dying to know how I got here..
The wait is over, darlings. You wanted answers? I’m here to deliver—whether you asked or not. Sit down, take notes, and try to keep up.
I got a rando to interview me. And here is what I got. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask his name and Instagram handle. Anyway, It’s me who is the star. Think you could do better? Drop me a line.
Was acting a childhood dream or a later choice?
Oh darling, I actually never thought of it as a career. It was just a logical step. I owe this discovery to men. Read: Love bombing, wishful thinking, gaslighting. Why not monetize my ability to believe in the most ridiculous concepts? That’s how I mastered method acting. Costed me. But it was worth it.
Sounds like you are a pro in bad romances. What’s your deal breaker on a date?
Splitting the bill! Honey, the moment you say that, I’m splitting the space.
In a modern economy, we’re sharing expenses, aren’t we?
I’m an experience, not an expense—call it an entrance fee for a living art performance. Drinks included.
It’s a pretty controversial concept…
Are you going to interrupt me all the time?
Some outrageous people call me a gold digger. But Darling, I am gold. You’re the one not digging it.
This has nothing to do with patriarchal stereotypes. A wise man once said, ‘Time is money.’ You can even see his portrait on the $100 bill—as proof of concept. I always keep some in my wallet for inspiration. Wanna see?
I charge for entertainment. Count it as such on your taxes. You’re welcome.
Also, next time you should prepare better so I don’t have to overexplain myself.
Want more drama? Watch the interview
