Just back from a dietician. And guess what! I didn’t get an Ozempic prescription – the doctor says I’m already perfect. Or maybe it was something else that she said. Anyway, ping me if you know where I can get some. Asking for a friend, of course.
Speaking of which, my bestie is a beach body work in progress for as long as I can remember her. That’s exactly what makes her a perfect beach buddy – we’re both trying… every new cocktail.
But this summer, I’m determined to swap my fur coat uniform for a bikini. I call it minimalism, darling.
It couldn’t get any further than that: I got a meal plan.
And it’s not any diet, it’s a Portuguese meal plan. Fancy a pastel de nata for breakfast? Pair it with green wine — much better than boring water. Just imagine: two liters of water? Ugh. Two bottles of vinho verde? Easy peasy.
I started right away once I left the appointment. And honestly, I was about to proclaim myself a Portuguese diet ambassador. But then I read the meal plan:
BREAKFAST:
one egg + cup of tea (What an egg-centric choice! Also, who drinks tea in this country?)
LUNCH:
two eggs or protein of your choice (58 grams)+ green salad, 33 grams
DINNER:
Green salad
Note:Avoid carbs!
I’d rather avoid reading this, to be honest. Too late.
Honestly, that’s not what I expected from people who plan their dinner menu while finishing breakfast.
I wonder… what do they cook with one egg? I googled.
Portuguese have over 365 ways to cook a cod fish. But zero recipes for one egg!
Anyway, you won’t get me this easy. You know what? I’d rather skip breakfast on weekdays so I can have a proper omelette on Saturday!
Beach bars are calling!
If I made you laugh, gasp, or cancel your gym subscription—send a little love. Green wine isn’t cheap.
Need a voice like this for your project?
I’m open to collaborations. Get in touch — or at least bring vinho verde.
2 comments
The best diet is to feel the needs of your body.
It is said that this is the saying of Socrates: “I eat to live, not live to eat.”
totally agree